Where'd She go?

Sometimes I miss the "old me". I want to burn these grown up clothes, put my old studded belt and converse back on, and go riding off on my skateboard. I really don't like trying to conform into what I should be...I've never been good at it. Sure, I can pull it off. Buy designer jeans, a cute flouncy top with a pair of wedges, my hair all teased with a flower in it...but I feel so fake...like I'm acting but I've forgotten my script. Well, tomorrow I think I'll break out the old clothes...let's see what people say...*insert an evil grin*

Me, Myself, and I

Women are social beings. I try not to be, but I honestly can't help it. One Sunday, after a long morning of 4 baby blessings, I was sitting in church determined to sulk in a corner at my barrenness...but as soon as someone I didn't know sat next to me a smile betrayed me, leaping into place and my hand involuntarily went out. Before I knew it a rather chipper "Hi!" had escaped my lips.
Why is this such a bad thing? It's not at first, but friendship is a fickle thing, and I am horrible at it. I will do anything for a friend...except call them. Plus at this stage of life, you inevitably lose those you thought were your friends. Too many things change: jobs, circumstances.
So, is it really better to have loved and lost? I'm sot sure. I'm inclined to say that when it comes to friendship, I would much rather be on my own little island with my husband, kids and stacks and stacks of good books.